If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
