my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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