Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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