I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
