How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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