Your mouth is God's brothel.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
