WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
