it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
