Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
