the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
