i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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