HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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