with your own penis?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm too high and old for this...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
