My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
