i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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