She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just gargled with NyQuil
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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