This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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