Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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