The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize