Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
