thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
