your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
