me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
