Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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