best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
