I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't put those talents on a resume
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
