is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
