So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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