I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
