this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
