Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
