i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
