i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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