so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
