you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How many fucks given?