She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night