if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing