I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
