question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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