I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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