I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
