i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
