we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
