i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
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he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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