is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
