A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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