I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I did not marry a roomba.
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