I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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