i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She needs sedatives and a leash
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
