would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
