I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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