When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
