he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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