Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
