is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
