Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
