seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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