Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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