he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
