I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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