There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
