I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
