Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize