I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
