i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The adults are the big ones right?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
