i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
