it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
