After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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