Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?