Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself