Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.

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  (609): I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife. http://tfl.nu/63v4
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?

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  (847): is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder? http://tfl.nu/zxu8
  Replies (105) Good night (1634) Bad night (1788) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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  (913): So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized http://tfl.nu/gtwy
  Replies (53) Good night (4929) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"

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  (404): its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock" http://tfl.nu/i9yu
  Replies (28) Good night (2633) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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  (706): If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america. http://tfl.nu/uk3q
  Replies (28) Good night (1271) Bad night (2493) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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  (419): doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars. http://tfl.nu/h8m5
  Replies (15) Good night (5881) Bad night (601)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.

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  (214): Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand. http://tfl.nu/s680
  Replies (13) Good night (1116) Bad night (4407)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone

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  (425): four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone http://tfl.nu/zkvp
  Replies (37) Good night (1497) Bad night (3986) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.

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  (415): Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself. http://tfl.nu/x6rs
  Replies (18) Good night (5352) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.

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  (510): note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/6g44
  Replies (4) Good night (2262) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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  (757): i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas http://tfl.nu/kf1k
  Replies (13) Good night (2923) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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  (314): Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night http://tfl.nu/67n5
  Replies (10) Good night (2649) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.

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  (603): And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol. http://tfl.nu/g84x
  Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.

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  (303): And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked. http://tfl.nu/770z
  Replies (4) Good night (1546) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up

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  (720): This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up http://tfl.nu/dnma
  Replies (1) Good night (166) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt

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