Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
